FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
January 4, 2025
Last night in Chattanooga, Waylon Crybaby and the Squeaky Wheels were asked to leave a local Waffle House after an impromptu acoustic set went sideways. Witnesses report the band’s upright bassist, Beau “Boomstick” Jenkins, used his bass as a battering ram to free a stuck jukebox. “We just wanted to hear ‘Jolene,’” Waylon explained, adding, “Honestly, it was worth it.” The band apologizes for any inconvenience and would like to note the scattered hash browns were entirely accidental.