FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
December 5, 2025
Waylon Crybaby and the Squeaky Wheels found themselves stuck in a Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot for three hours yesterday after their van’s starter motor gave out just as they pulled in for coffee. Instead of panicking, the band treated the entire situation like a “team-building exercise.”
“I fixed a flat tire once,” said drummer Stompin’ Slim McCoy, “so I figured I could fix a van, too. Spoiler alert: I can’t.”
With no mechanic in sight, the band took to performing a full set right there in the parking lot, drawing a crowd of curious onlookers. After a few songs and a half-dozen donuts, a local tow truck driver heard the commotion and gave them a jump.
“We got a couple of new fans,” Buckshot Billy said, “and about $7 in tips. Not bad for a pit stop.”
The band has vowed to never again underestimate the importance of AAA.